Why Celebrating Wins is Difficult for Some…
By Angela Cox, last updated February 12, 2024

This week we ran a poll and it’s created an interesting poll result. It was about celebrating successes and we asked people on Linkedin how they felt about celebrating success.

It’s great to see that 42% are willing to shake the Pom Poms. It’s a key part of authentic self-value and helps us move away from the pretender masks by validating ourselves.

24% are on to the next thing.

We see this behaviour in Perfectionist pretenders. They move straight on to the next thing without stopping to celebrate a win.

The root of this is often because they can’t risk pausing because their self-value is connected to constant striving and achieving.

Any pause exposes the shaky self-value and feels uneasy. A win is rarely a win, it’s simply another step towards an ever-moving target.

24% voted that celebrating success is okay for others but not for them.

People pleaser pretenders are used to shaking the poms poms for everyone else so they instinctively think it’s okay for others to do so.

When it comes to them, they will over analyse what people would think of them if they dared to talk about themselves.

They tend to seek approval of their wins, asking people ‘do you think that went okay’ or they’ll say ‘I really messed that up’ even if they know they didn’t, so they can get the validation externally.

They essentially seek the validation they give out.

10% stated that it’s not the done thing.

Persecutor of self pretenders would believe it’s not okay to celebrate a win. It might even be noted as showy and uncouth.

Self-persecutors often come from a place of feeling lesser than others and often disguise this as ‘humility’.

It’s not genuine humility, it’s driven by the inner critic.

The bit to remember here is that pom pom shaking doesn’t have to be made public.

The most important part is learning to celebrate the wins so that self-validation is recognised.

Find out what your pretender style is by taking our test here.

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