Check out the latest knowledge sharing, thought leadership, and news from Paseda360 the Founders, team and other leading experts
What happens when you don’t fit…
By Angela Cox, last updated May 30, 2023

Meet dog.

He is desperate to get into next door’s garden but he doesn’t fit through the hedgehog hole.

He looks pretty sad about it as you can see.

And then he gets frustrated.

It’s not dissimilar to what I see happening with people.

When we try to fit into a place or social group where we don’t feel like we belong, it can have a significant impact on our self-value and levels of self-trust.

Self-value refers to our overall sense of self-worth and confidence, while self-trust is the belief in our own abilities, judgments, decisions and boundaries.

Attempting to fit in where we don’t feel a genuine connection erodes our self-value because it creates a constant sense of inadequacy and the fear of being rejected or judged.

We might start questioning our own worthiness and believe that there is something inherently wrong with us if we can’t effortlessly blend in.

This can lead to feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and even depression, as we continuously strive to meet the expectations of others instead of honoring our authentic selves.

In an attempt to cope with this mismatch between who we truly are and who we need to be to fit in, we might resort to wearing a mask or ‘pretending’ as we call it at Paseda360..

We put on a façade that aligns with what we believe others expect from us, rather than expressing our genuine thoughts, emotions, and values. This only exacerbates the problem.

Intuitive people, who possess a heightened ability to perceive and understand others, can often see through this mask. They can sense the incongruence between our true selves and the pretender.

Consequently, the fear of being exposed as an imposter intensifies, leading to even lower self-value and an increased sense of self-doubt.

This cycle of pretending in order to fit in while fearing that others can see through it creates a vicious cycle. It erodes our self-trust as we start doubting our authenticity and our ability to be accepted for who we genuinely are. We may become disconnected from our own intuition and inner guidance, relying more on external validation and losing touch with our own desires and aspirations. People pleasing, perfectionism and self-persecution are used even more.

To break free from this negative pattern, it is essential to prioritise self-acceptance and self-discovery. Recognising and embracing our unique qualities, strengths, and values can help rebuild our self-value.

By cultivating self-trust, we can learn to listen to our intuition and make choices that align with our authentic selves, even if it means standing apart from the crowd. Surrounding ourselves with supportive and accepting individuals who appreciate us for who we are can also contribute to healing and regaining confidence.

Ultimately, it is important to remember that true belonging comes from embracing our authentic selves, rather than trying to fit into places or groups that don’t align with our core values and identities.

At Paseda360 we are passionate about training coaches to unmask pretenders.

Join our next cohort to find out how.

As for Cooper, he still hasn’t learnt his lesson, and he attempts to fit through the hog hole every day!

The journey to becoming a certified coach with Paseda360
By Angela Cox, last updated November 25, 2023
If you’re a brand-new coach or indeed an existing one, you might be interested in our Advanced Practitioner in Transformational Coaching Programme. If so you might be wondering what happens when you train with us and what the route to becoming a certified coach entails. This article is designed to walk you through the process and exactly what you can
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The Coaching Spectrum Explained by Paseda360
By Angela Cox, last updated November 18, 2023
In the ever-evolving landscape of coaching, the traditional paradigms are shifting and at Paseda360 we are at the forefront, blazing a trail. Downey’s Coaching Spectrum has existed for more than 20 years and it describes how coaching can slide along a push/pull scale. In many ways, it’s a revolutionary framework, which challenges the notion of staying solely within the non-directive
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The Power of Vulnerability in Coaching: Embracing a New Approach
By Angela Cox, last updated November 5, 2023
In a light-hearted moment during CPR training with my husband a few weeks ago, he jokingly remarked, “You’re the only casualty to put yourself in the recovery position.” Little did I know that this playful comment would spark profound introspection, not only about my own tendencies but also about the evolving nature of coaching. I’ve always been someone who likes
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Training or learning – what do you need?
By Angela Cox, last updated October 29, 2023
Reflecting on my 6-month-long learning experience with Paseda360 led me to write this article. Something about the setup and support gained on this course felt refreshingly different. Training When I have taken part in some training courses, I might be given a set of learning outcomes, a defined route to get there, and a person who is on a mission
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Showing up on organic social media is the key to long-term success
By Angela Cox, last updated October 22, 2023
If you are wincing at the thought of what that headline means for you, then think carefully. Visibility on social media really is a MUST for anyone who wants to build a sustainable, long-term coaching business. Showing up on social media doesn’t mean jumping on the latest gimmicks in an attempt to become the ‘next insta star’. It means creating
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